2017 Red Herring Festival Logo

Sat 28 October & Sunday 29 October 2017

The Cut, 8 New Cut, Halesworth IP19 8BY

 

Celebrating the herring

as a vibrant part of Suffolk's heritage

FISHY JOKES  

 

The 2017 Suffolk Herring Festival wanted to find the funniest fishy joke.  An expert judge from the Festival team choose the best ten which were caught in our fishy net during the Festival weekend. Each joke was read out and the laugh it received measured by a decibel counter. You can read the results here...

 

FISHY JOKE WINNER

Why do fish ignore you?

Because they are hard of herring.

(Darcey Chappell)

 

RUNNERS-UP

I went to an underwater disco... I pulled a mussel.

(Harry & Gill)

 

How much do you charge for a fishy doctor's consultation?

Six squid

(Liz Wilkinson)

 

Why are all fish athiests?

They don't believe in cod.

(Anonymous)

 

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Dam!

(Anonymous)

 

Which fish can perform operations?

A sturgeon

(Eliza Woolston)

 

Two parrots sat on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, 'Can you smell fish?'

(Nick Edwards)

 

Not tonight Josephine - I've got a haddock!

(Anonymous)

 

What does the pope eat during lent?

Holy mackerel

(Eliza Woolston)

 

Name a famous fishy writer?

Salmon Rushdie

(Eliza)

Funny Fish